Squabbles with V

V and I are both pretty laid back and yelling-averse so as a result, we don’t fight frequently. We fight so infrequently that I’m able to view our squabbles somewhat fondly. Consider this a list of things I’m thankful for. I’ve also inserted some tips that might be helpful for couples or roommates who want to eliminate some squabble triggers.

Things we don’t fight about that other couples seem to*:

• The toilet seat – Unlike many women, I don’t believe that the toilet seat’s natural position is down. I think it’s a toss-up. between up and down. And unlike many men, V is really good about putting the toilet seat down.  But key to our non-fighting over this issue is that we actually keep the lid down on the toilet seat 99.9% of the time. We do this for two reasons. One, most toilets spray a mist of water during a flush. Keeping the lid down prevents fecal mist from landing on other bathroom surfaces. Two, home staging experts recommend it. Apparently, it makes bathrooms look more appealing. In sum, less poopy, more pretty.

Up or down?

• Asking for directions when lost – A GPS device solves this problem. Plus I freely admit that I have a poor sense of direction, I let V take the reigns on this one.
• The TV remote – DVR solves this problem plus we hardly watch live TV anymore (can’t stand commercials). We also have a core set of TV shows that we both like (e.g., Modern Family, Parks & Recreation, New Girl) so we have common ground. I’ve also learned to nap through football.
• Where to spend the holidays – V’s family prefers Thanksgiving over Christmas while my family prefers Christmas over Thanksgiving. Plus both of our families are in the Bay Area, we can easily party-hop if necessary. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice for couples who struggle with this.

On the flip side, here’s what we do squabble about:

Rituals

V and I have been together for almost nine years. Over the years, we have developed joint rituals that mark special occasions in our lives. Our winter ritual is the waxing of our snowboards.

Waxing a snowboard isn’t difficult but it takes about 30 minutes per board and it’s a messy process. We could pay to have it done at a shop but we like to do it ourselves. It sort of makes you feel more connected to your board. Plus you get to see the scratches on your board and admire the battle scars.

melting the wax

Awesome Husband

V is awesome – he had to go out of town so he made extra food for me so I wouldn’t have to cook dinner for myself. I won the husband jackpot! On a related note, I rearranged/organized stuff in our apartment since I was all alone and had free time. Our snowboards are no longer in the middle of our living room, woo!

Getting to Know V: Over/Under

There are two schools of thought when it comes to unrolling toilet paper – over and under.

Last week, I learned something new about V – he strongly believes in the “over” method. I don’t have a preference so I had been loading the toilet paper roll willy nilly. I didn’t even notice that he would flip the roll over if I loaded it “incorrectly.”

It’s nice to be surprised once in a while with personality quirks.

The Money Non-Issue

V and I are lucky in that we’re highly compatible when it comes to our views on money. We agree on how to spend it, how to save it and the value we place on it.

Before getting married, we agreed that we would keep certain percentages of our respective incomes in separate accounts and the rest of our money would go towards a joint income.

But that’s not how we’re handling money now.

You Can’t Leave Empty-Handed

If you’re Filipino or Cambodian, you can’t leave your parents’ house empty-handed. No matter how old you are, your parents will still send you home with food. This was our recent “loot” from V’s parents – persimmons, guavas, longans and avocados. V’s dad also sent along some special beef.