• I take my shoes off at the office. I like to sit cross-legged in my chair and I take my shoes off so I don’t get my chair and pants dirty. The only exception to this is when I’m wearing boots.
• I have a strict policy of “liking” all cat photos on Facebook. I really like cats, all cats. I can’t have one yet so until then, I’m living vicariously through all other cat owners. I want to move to a bigger apartment so we have room for cat paraphernalia.

Market cat

• I talk in my sleep. This is a source of amusement and confusion for V. He tells me that I am capable of holding somewhat coherent conversations and do simple arithmetic in my sleep. Sometimes he doesn’t know whether to take what I’m saying seriously because he’s not sure about my level of consciousness.
• I don’t like tomato sauce on my pizza. The Cheeseboard converted me to sauce-less pizza.
• I avoid saying “hors d’oeuvres.” First, Americans pronounce it incorrectly. The V comes before the R! Second, I think it’s pretentious to use a French word when there’s an English equivalent – appetizers. In the same vein, I always pronounce the R in foyer.

*Official declaration by yours truly.

First of all, whew! If I redo my budget, I will actually have a shot at sticking to it! Second, are we really spending $6,000+ a year on non-necessities? Third, I think this means that everything that is not food, rent or utilities will be counted as “treats.” Fourth, how come no one gave me a reality check sooner?

I’m going to redo my budget and this time around, I’m going to base it on facts instead of denial/delusion. My plan is to total up my January treats and base the new number off that. To be honest, I’m actually a little scared of what my January total will be because of a couple big-ticket items:

• aforementioned Dine About Town restaurant extravaganza
• belated 2011 Christmas date with V at Gary Danko
• new cell phone

And if I’m including more categories, I’ll also have to include:

• gym membership
• incidental expenses like doctor visits and prescriptions
• birthday gifts

Stay tuned for the big number next week!

I'm a craft addict.

Even though I genuinely get worried about the results of my self-diagnosis, I admit I take some sort of satisfaction in this neurosis. I think it’s similar to how some people enjoy enumerating/bemoaning their symptoms of gout, diabetes, hypertension, etc.

So to indulge myself, I’m going to give a brief history of the illnesses with which I’ve diagnosed myself over the years.

• When I was about six or seven, I diagnosed myself with prostate cancer. Clearly, I was a newbie to the medical world. My diagnosis was based on a pharmaceutical magazine ad that asked “do you urinate several times a night?” and two other questions. I can’t remember the other questions but I promptly shared my findings with my family. I can’t remember how they reacted.
• When I was 10, I’m pretty sure I had trichotillomania . I kept pulling hair until I had a bald spot on my head about the size of a quarter. I remember struggling to control my urge to pull more hair.
• A few months ago, I was convinced I had plantar fasciitis. I actually asked my doctor about this but she said I probably just had bruised heels. The heel pain wasn’t in the right spot for plantar fasciitis.
• Stomach aches get diagnosed as appendicitis. Migraine headaches get diagnosed as brain tumors.

I think that deep in my subconscious, my obsession with self-diagnosis is a preemptive defense mechanism. I know that my self-diagnoses aren’t medically valid, which means I really don’t have that illness. And there, I diagnosed my neurosis. See what I did there?

• four restaurants at $36 each – $144
• brunch – probably $20
• massage – $75

That’s a total of $239. This doesn’t even include small treats like nail polish and coffee. And as if this month isn’t bad enough, the next two months aren’t looking so good either. I have two snowboarding trips planned in February and another two planned for March. Good thing I have a season pass and the March hotel fees were already paid in advance.

I wonder if this whole allowance thing is an exercise in futility. Now that I realize how much I’m overspending, I’m less inclined to go shopping and more determined to curb my Starbucks habit. Honestly, I wouldn’t cut a snowboarding trip because I’ve used up my allowance. I wouldn’t turn down brunch with a friend in order to save $20.  At the very least, setting an allowance has made me more conscious of my spending.  Baby steps, right?

*Of course, I realize that these are #firstworldproblems, #doubleincomenokids and #nomortage luxuries. I’m lucky and grateful to have this “problem.”

• making mittens from wool sweaters. They were uneven and not cute. I turned these into dusting mittens instead.
• stenciled canvas bags using doilies as patterns. The paint bled and ran.
• making glitter gift tags/making embossed gift tags. I couldn’t get crisp edges with the stencil.

Because of this string of failures, I’ve been too disheartened to craft. But this weekend, I dipped my toe back into the crafting pond. You would think that after many fails, my return to crafting would be carefully planned out and researched. Nope. I took on a low-effort project with high potential for instant gratification. Inspired by Young House Love, I made this.

Framed Z

I got the Z and the frame as Christmas gifts and the paper is from my craft stash. If you’re wondering how I made this (really?), here are the steps.

1. Tape letter to paper. To ensure that the Z is on straight, make sure that the points of the zigzag pattern align with the bottom of the Z.  To ensure that the Z is centered, make sure there is an even number of zigs on each side. The Z had varying widths from top to bottom. I decided to center the top side since the eye sees from top to bottom.
2. Turn frame over and place paper face down into the frame. Make sure that the Z is somewhat centered in the frame.
3. Use the cardboard backing that came with the frame, press down on the paper until the pins on the back of the frame poke through the paper.
4. Carefully rip the paper around the perimeter of the frame backing.
5. Fold down frame pins and voila, you have an objet d’art.

Tools I could have used but didn’t: scissors, ruler

She believed that regular exercise should prevent soreness, your body should learn to handle the work. I believe that you should be sore after every workout. Being sore means you pushed your muscles to work harder than they normally do. Once you stop being sore, you’ve hit a plateau.

I’m not talking about a debilitating amount of soreness, just sore enough to pinpoint which muscle groups worked the hardest. I guess if you’re just trying to maintain your current body condition, you don’t have to push your muscles as hard. I’m desperately fighting an uphill battle so every day that I’m sore is a win for me.

I guess this reflects my overall mindset of negative reinforcement. I realize that when it comes to exercising, I respond better to negative feedback. Rewards make me lazy, pain motivates me.

If you respond to negative feedback like me (or you just want to read about the darkness in my mind), here are some of the things I do for motivation:

I’m so bummed that even with better shoes and stronger supporting muscles, my knees are still not up to the job. I’m jealous of people with good knees. I might try to find a good track near my house and give running another shot but until then, I’ll just have to powerwalk on the treadmill and decrease the speed. Last time, I was walking at a 4.2 speed setting (no idea what that number means) and my knees hurt afterwards. My knees are so broken.

The run wasn’t all bad though, several good things did come out of it:

By setting a specific amount, I hope to be more aware of my frivolous spending and consequentially, be more deliberate about how I spend my fun money. You may be wondering why the heck it is taking me months to think about this. Just set an amount and do it, right? Well, I’m stuck on what rules to set for myself.

Points to consider in setting a “treat yourself” allowance.

• The amount – The amount I am currently considering is $150 a month. Is that too much?  Do I deserve $1800 a year in treats? That seems like a lot to spend on non-essentials.
• What counts as a treat? Should I up the limit to $200/month and include restaurants? Do I count non-basic grocery items like cheese and sushi-grade fish? Travel is a separate budget since I pay for that with bonuses and tax refunds.
• Enforceability. How do I make sure I follow my own rules?

Any advice?