Squabbles with V

V and I are both pretty laid back and yelling-averse so as a result, we don’t fight frequently. We fight so infrequently that I’m able to view our squabbles somewhat fondly. Consider this a list of things I’m thankful for. I’ve also inserted some tips that might be helpful for couples or roommates who want to eliminate some squabble triggers.

Things we don’t fight about that other couples seem to*:

• The toilet seat – Unlike many women, I don’t believe that the toilet seat’s natural position is down. I think it’s a toss-up. between up and down. And unlike many men, V is really good about putting the toilet seat down.  But key to our non-fighting over this issue is that we actually keep the lid down on the toilet seat 99.9% of the time. We do this for two reasons. One, most toilets spray a mist of water during a flush. Keeping the lid down prevents fecal mist from landing on other bathroom surfaces. Two, home staging experts recommend it. Apparently, it makes bathrooms look more appealing. In sum, less poopy, more pretty.

Up or down?

• Asking for directions when lost – A GPS device solves this problem. Plus I freely admit that I have a poor sense of direction, I let V take the reigns on this one.
• The TV remote – DVR solves this problem plus we hardly watch live TV anymore (can’t stand commercials). We also have a core set of TV shows that we both like (e.g., Modern Family, Parks & Recreation, New Girl) so we have common ground. I’ve also learned to nap through football.
• Where to spend the holidays – V’s family prefers Thanksgiving over Christmas while my family prefers Christmas over Thanksgiving. Plus both of our families are in the Bay Area, we can easily party-hop if necessary. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice for couples who struggle with this.

On the flip side, here’s what we do squabble about:

Rituals

V and I have been together for almost nine years. Over the years, we have developed joint rituals that mark special occasions in our lives. Our winter ritual is the waxing of our snowboards.

Waxing a snowboard isn’t difficult but it takes about 30 minutes per board and it’s a messy process. We could pay to have it done at a shop but we like to do it ourselves. It sort of makes you feel more connected to your board. Plus you get to see the scratches on your board and admire the battle scars.

melting the wax

Getting to Know V: Over/Under

There are two schools of thought when it comes to unrolling toilet paper – over and under.

Last week, I learned something new about V – he strongly believes in the “over” method. I don’t have a preference so I had been loading the toilet paper roll willy nilly. I didn’t even notice that he would flip the roll over if I loaded it “incorrectly.”

It’s nice to be surprised once in a while with personality quirks.

Fitting in with the Family

This Christmas, V and I split our time between both our families. Fitting in with each other’s families isn’t too hard as long as some basic rules are obeyed.

My family
#1 You have to eat a lot. If you don’t eat a lot, my mom will think you don’t like the food and she’ll stress out. V broke this rule when we went over to my mom’s for lunch the day after Christmas. V didn’t go back for seconds and my mom took me aside in the kitchen and asked worriedly if he didn’t like the food. I said he did but of course, she didn’t believe me. She then proceeded to ply him with desserts until she was satisfied that he had (over)eaten a satisfactory amount of food.

The TV Struggle

Marriage experts make a big deal about not having  TV in the bedroom.  But I really want one, and so does V.  The internal struggle over the bedroom TV has just gotten harder now that we find ourselves with an extra TV (we got a new TV from V’s dad for Christmas). *sigh*

Is it really so bad to have a TV in the bedroom? Yea…it probably is.

If we had a TV in the bedroom, I can imagine that we would easily degenerate into:

Living with a Girl

Dear Husband,

By now you’ve probably learned a few things about what it’s like to live with a girl (this one, in particular). When you talk to your unmarried guy friends and they ask you what living with a girl is like, here are some suggested talking points.

How’s Married Life?

“How’s married life?” We get asked that question frequently. Beyond “it’s good,” it’s been hard for me to provide a more detailed response. But I finally came up with a way to explain why “it’s good.”

Why Living with a Husband is Better than Living with Roommates

Housecleaning

Back in high school when the Spice Girls first arrived, some friends and I made up Spice Girl names for ourselves. One of us was OCD Spice. I can’t remember who was supposed to be OCD Spice, but these days, I think that may be me.

Not Sharing is Caring

This past Sunday, I had my first (I think) bratty wife moment.

Two days after we got back from our honeymoon, my computer died. I think it’s a power supply issue. It was too old to warrant a fix though so V just transferred my data over to his desktop.

He set up different profiles and hard drive partitions for both of us so we wouldn’t interfere with each other’s stuff.

But that wasn’t enough for me. I learned that I can’t stand to wait “my turn” for the computer. I whined to V that it didn’t feel like my computer when I couldn’t use it whenever I pleased.

I know, super bratty, right?

But V was so sweet about it and volunteered right away to not use it when I was home.

Marriage doesn’t mean you have to share everything.